3 Of The Top Reasons Why It Is Not In Our Best Interest to Put Off Marriage

By: Curtis Ophoven 0 Comments   3/7/2012

The current trend is to put off marriage until the age of mid to late twenties. Yet marriage remains one of the top desires.

The desire for marriage is none other than a character trait of our designer. Marriage fulfills our deepest desires to raise a family and build a life-long relationship with someone we can trust and share our lives with.

Here are the top three concerns young adults face regarding marriage;

First, the memories of relationships that have been hurt by years of the high divorce rate makes marriage look very risky.

Second, the cultural adoration for career success vs. marriage success.

Third, the decrease in moral conviction and the promotion of casual sex has led many into cohabitation before marriage, which undermines the reason to get married.

These three factors are behind the trend to put off marriage. 

But what are we giving up when we put off marriage, what is the trade off and is it worth the trade? Because if we lose more than we gain, than it is not in our best interest to put off marriage.

So here are three counter reasons not to put off marriage.

1. Marriage is the union of two people’s lives, and the closer that union begins at the beginning of our lives away from our parents the better.  Because it is easier to build a life together from the beginning then to try to let go of two separate lives that have also been built and then try to rebuild a new one together.

When we start from the beginning there is more joy and security in building a life together without memories of previous relationships that work against the intimacy of this our new relationship.  Scripture tells us that God intended us to get marriage when we leave our parents and begin to build a life on our own. “For this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24-25)

I realize this is not always possible for everyone, but the ideal marriage begins when we leave our parents oversight that cleave to our spouse. The implication is that the parents are no longer the primary support for the new couple. Parental dependency will hinder the intimacy of the marriage. So to increase the success of marriage and decrease the risks, it is better to get marriage when we leave our parents oversight and to cleave to our spouse giving them more influence than our parents.

We should also look at why people are getting divorced and plan not to. Divorce is primarily about selfishness, which is a natural human trait that everyone is born with. The only way to counter it is to continuously renew our minds with what Jesus taught us.  So find someone that loves to study the Word and join them. This is perhaps the best way to strengthen your marriage.  

2. There is little reward in a successful career unless you achieve it with someone. Working to support a family is very rewarding.  Achieving career success without a family is lonely and it is easier to build a successful career with your life-long partner helping you then by yourself.

I have personally experienced the benefit of having my wife help me build my career. The personal counsel of a trusted spouse is a competitive advantage in the marketplace that few people realize. When you engage your spouse in helping you with relationships with your co-workers, you are getting advice from someone that knows your strengths and weaknesses better than anyone else and you are also deepening your relationship with your spouse because you are showing them that you are relying on them to help you – in which you both benefit from.

In an extreme case, one of my friends became an executive as a very young age and when I asked him his secret he told me that it was his wife who helped him all along the way. Rather than seeking two careers with two middle class incomes, they teamed up together and both worked on his one career, pushing him up the ladder resulting in one very high income that they now both enjoy.

3. Living together before marriage (cohabitating) is one of the best ways to weaken the intimacy of your marriage.

The longer you date the more likely you are to live together before getting married, and the longer you cohabitate the more likely that your marriage with fail. The statistics clearly show that God's plan is the best.

Therefore, the longer you date the more likely your marriage is to fail. So based on the current statistics, the best strategy seems to be to find someone you like, date for a few months and then get married and then continue to invest time in your marriage to make it last a lifetime, in which you will be most blessed.


The current cultural trend to put off marriage until the mid to late twenties is based on theories that have been proven false again and again. 

God's plan is clearly in our best interest, because it gives us the ideal marriage in which we can have the most fulfilling and blessed life.  So get married and stay married and be blessed.


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