Abstinence Education Continues To Help Teens As New Study Finds Drop In Teen Sex

By: Tia Johnson 0 Comments   1/13/2014

My husband and I were both virgins when we married. I know, however, that not everyone can say that.

The friends I hung with in elementary school began talking about their sexual exploits when I was in 8th and 9th grade. One of them was a very sweet girl who befriended a boy from the wrong crowd.

He was bold enough to tap on her bedroom window until she let him in to enjoy sex in her childhood bedroom while her parents were sleeping.

I remember another friend from across town calling me and very quietly, so that her parents in the living room wouldn't hear her confession, admitted to "doing it" with another boy. Another friend had multiple partners and seemed proud of it. It was obvious this was a life marker for these girls, but I wouldn't say it was a good one, and I'm sure that they would agree. 

Perhaps the best move my parents made was to regularly pray for us kids, because after several months of being a bystander to all the parties, sex and drinking, I told my group of friends that I couldn't hang out with them anymore.

This was a turning point for me. Because of this decision, I spent a lot of time alone during my high school years. However, I did find groups to chat with in my classes who didn't party nor pursue sexual encounters. I became acquainted with many people my age who were focused on classwork, clubs and after-school activities. Some of these students may be called nerds, but most were not. They simply put their energy into more productive ventures. Their gatherings with friends were clean outings to each other's houses or safe public places. They played pranks, they had fun. They seemed to enjoy life more and they had lots more fun doing what they loved without leaving part of themselves behind.

The contrast between these two groups I experienced in high school reveals this: in one group, I was outnumbered. Most people were having sex and pursuing all they could get out of that side of life. In the next group, most people were not engaging in sex. How easy it would be for someone in the first group to assume that "everybody's doing it" when the truth is that sexually active teens are now the minority. As Life Site News reported, fewer than 6 percent of teens have had sex by age 15. That's a drop from 13 percent last year. Furthermore, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported that most 9th and 12th graders are currently abstinent. That's right- MOST are abstinent. Wow, considering the power of peer pressure, that's something to post on the bathroom mirrors at school.

As LifeSiteNews reported, however, teens are not primarily influenced in the school bathroom (though that does play a role). They're first influenced at home. I recently began discussing relationships with my five-year-old daughter while we were playing with small toys. We pretended two of the toys were Mom and Dad. How would they dance? Very close, because they're married. Now let's say these toys are you, my daughter, and a boy. How would you dance? (Far apart, of course, because they're not married yet!)

This is just the beginning of a lifetime of discussions about relationships with my kids. Some of these discussions I will initiate, and I hope some they will initiate. I want my kids to know that no matter how things appear at eye-level, personal experience and recent research has taught me that abstinence until marriage not only works- it's practiced. And it's God's design for them.

Truthfully, I have memories of more people smiling from the group who abstained from drinking and sex than from the first group. They didn't have to deal with the heartbreak of a break-up every two weeks. They were investing in pursuits that were long-lasting and were less likely to disappoint them. Among the group I knew who was sexually active, two of the three are now married, and the third had a child while in high school. One of these girls wrote me several years after high school and said she admired the stands I had made and is now trying to turn back to living with similar values. She can't undo what has been done, but she can make a difference from here on, and I'm proud of her.

The same can be said of anyone else: we can't undo what's been done in the past, but we can redirect the course of our lives from here on. And, if you're a Christian, you serve a God who can take even the "worst" of sins and make a beautiful testimony. Hand over your life to Him and discover how He can weave it into a beautiful piece of art. After all, my God made you, and He doesn't make junk.


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