How to Find the Right Person to Marry

By: Curtis Ophoven 0 Comments   2/11/2011

This is a loaded question with millions of unknown circumstances that I couldn’t possibly address in a single article post, but I do have an answer that is most effective and has been proven to work since the beginning of time.

As we approach Valentine’s Day and single people start feeling the need to find a date, while married couples plan for romance and celebration, the answer to this question seems to get lost. 

When I was looking for a spouse no one told me how to do it and I wish someone would have given me some advice. 

Parents seem to think that their children will just learn these things on their own, but that usually means they will learn by trial and error. 

The problem is that experimenting with trial and error while looking for a spouse can result in emotional and sexual scars for life.  It is not like playing Monopoly.  Finding someone to share your life with is a serious task that takes a serious strategy.

Are you ready?  Here is how to find a spouse in three easy steps.

The first step is to realize that you suck at picking the right person to marry, primarily because you have no idea what your future holds and have little time to really get to know the person you will be making a lifetime commitment with.   You need the help of someone that knows both your future and has a deep understanding of the compatibility needs of you and your spouse.  Online dating websites try to tackle the compatibility issue with surveys that are designed to uncover strong values, but a lot of time people don’t know what their values truly are until later in life when they have had time to form them.  You need the help of someone with greater knowledge then you have.

The second step is to make a list of at least ten items that you want in your spouse.  This is very important to many reasons.  It gives you a standard to direct your search and guide you with confidence in what you are looking for.   It also gives you the foundation for your conversation with potential spouses.  These are the things that are most important to you and should therefore be what you talk about and build your relationship upon with your potential spouse.  This list also becomes like a testimony in your future when you look back years from now and see how important it was to write down these ideas – a testimony to your marriage – reminding you that you have the person you always wanted.  Someday you will need this testimony to help minister to yourself and motivate you to fight for your marriage.

The third step is to put the first two steps together and realize that God is the only person that understand who is deeply compatible with you.   And God is the only one capable of bringing you two together and the only one who truly cares about your future.   Scripture tells us that He has a plan to bless us and prosper us.  So get on your knees, call on God to deliver on his promise and ask for a spouse with your listed items.  God enjoys our conversation, so he is not likely to deliver after the first conversation because he wants us to talk with him every day.  So don’t give up, he is your only hope of finding true love in marriage.  If you are desperate, pray with desperation day and night until he answers. 

The reason I know this strategy is highly effective and proven to work is because it’s what I did fifteen years ago out of frustration after several botched attempts to find my spouse.  The Lord brought me and my wife together, through a chain of events that can only be explained to me as a miracle.  To this day, I am amazed at the things that my wife and I are deeply passionate about together that I would have never been able to predict or know about her.  Finding a good spouse is finding a treasure.

God delivers.

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