Loving God While Single

By: Ryan Atkins 0 Comments   2/13/2011

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, which has couples pondering how to spend the evening. The gentlemen may be preparing a special evening with the appropriate flowers, chocolates, music and meal while they’re communicating their love to their valentine.

I am entering my 30th year of existence and similar to many years I have no valentine. I am not saddened or bothered by this. Thoughts do run through my mind from time to time wondering when? Who? Have I made a mistake along the way? 

Times arise when the desire for a wife is greater than other times, but yet those desires cannot change the focus for my life. Love God and Love people.

Pleasing the Lord

1 Corinthians 7:32 “But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord.” (NKJV)

Nearly two years ago I was referred to a statement John Piper spoke.

“Don’t waste your singleness.”

At the time I was in my late 20’s believing the time would come soon that I would become married.  That statement rocked me. I began to wonder if I had wasted my singleness, pining and obsessing about the possibility of becoming married. I had turned marriage into an idol, believing marriage was the next step in my Christian walk.

Thankfully God brought freedom to me within that area. I started on the journey not to see my singleness as a curse but as a blessing.

Realizing that while I was single I had time to travel, involve myself in different activities, mentor teenagers, create strong lifelong friendships and pursue God in ways I may not be able to once I have a wife and family to provide for. There was no more time whining and complaining that I wasn’t married. It was time to be the man God created me to be.

Confusing Love

One issue that arises is the misconception that having a significant other means we’re loved, or worse that being single means we’re not loved.

Five years ago an individual prophesied that I wanted to know what it was like to be loved. That is true. I desired to know what it felt like to be loved. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t, my mother, grandparents and hosts of others loved me, but yet I could not receive their love because I had a misguided view on what love is.

I to this day don’t fully understand how I saw love at that point in my life, but I do know much of it relied on if the opposite sex found me attractive. I needed another person to feel valued.

The beauty about God is that He loves us not because of our circumstances but by who He is.

We’re valued because we’re alive. My value comes from the fact that God created me in His image and He is infallible, not because an imperfect human being may or may not like me.

The Desire to Marry

I do desire to be married. I do wonder from time to time if the woman I will spend the rest of my life will ever come. The desire to marry is not wrong. Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

When the desire to marry consumes our thoughts and actions in unhealthy ways that prevents us from drawing a deep intimate relationship with Christ, is when the desire for marriage has become unhealthy.

Despite what we perceive the American dream as marriage is not a step into adulthood, or in our Christian walk. Marriage may happen for some when they are young and immature, while others may be older and in a stable place within their lives.  Either way it is a blessing.

I am choosing to spend my time as a single delighting myself in the Lord, knowing Him, learning to obey Him, loving people, having fun, and receiving the love He has for me.

We never know when our singleness will stop, so let’s enjoy our singleness by loving God and loving people, trusting God that He will take care of the rest. 

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