Natural Marriage Is The Only Hope For The Future Of Society

By: Tia Johnson 0 Comments   8/9/2013

How, exactly, do loving moms and dads build a stronger society?

Pat Fagan of the Family Research Council addressed a few ways in a video reviewed by Tamara Rajakariar of LifeSiteNews. (See the video here.)

She highlighted a few of Fagan's main points:

"Fagan notes that society is made up of five facets: the family, church, school, the marketplace and government. The first three mentioned are the places that 'grow the people' so to speak, and are closely interrelated. The last two areas of society are those into which people are set loose, once they've grown up: but the role that they play in these spheres of economy and government really depends on what happened in their experience of family, church and school."

Rajakariar goes on to share some of Fagan's statistics. When men marry, she wrote, their productivity increases by more than 20 percent. And the most productive man tends to be the one who is married with three kids. Also, married adults make up the demographic with the lowest level of unemployment. And, as Delight Media has previously reported, children under the nurture of married parents achieve more academically.

Yet this family structure- an in-tact, two-parent home- is now a minority. It's been hit hard by divorce, cohabitation, and those who pursue same-sex parenting. 

We could be bold enough to state, as Robert Oscar Lopez did in his July 8 Public Discourse column, that prospective parents who intentionally create anything other than a natural parenting structure is child abuse. Wow, say that again? Let's read it from Lopez himself: "Let’s be clear: I am not saying that same-sex parents are automatically guilty of any kind of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse to the children they raise. Nor am I saying that LGBT people are less likely to take good care of children. What I mean is this: Even the most heroic mother in the world can’t father. So to intentionally deprive any child of her mother or father, except in cases like divorce for grave reasons or the death of a parent, is itself a form of abuse."

Lopez goes on, "This holds true not only for same-sex parenting, but for any choice to parent a child in a less-than-ideal setting for a less-than-grave reason. It’s abuse, for example, for a single parent to adopt a child when many other equally good two-parent homes are available. It’s abuse for parents to divorce simply for reasons related to their own emotional happiness. It’s abuse for LGBT couples to create children through IVF and then deprive them of a mother or father."

Lopez asserts that parenting in a less-than-ideal setting for a less-than-grave reason may constitute child abuse. It sounds like he's referring to parents who put their desires ahead of the welfare of their children or prospective children. Some may argue that this is just circumspect. Sure, some kids might suffer from not having a mom or dad, but substitutions can be made, can't they?

This brings to mind a comment I heard from Barbara Rainey regarding her experience adopting. It's intrigued me ever since. She said your adoptive child will never love you as much as s/he would if you were the real mom. Furthermore, she said that we should never expect an adoptive child to love us the same. After all, would we love another the same as our biological mom?

The reason this comment intrigues me is because it reflects again the importance, whenever possible, of biological moms and dads in the life of a child.

I stress "whenever possible" because in-tact, loving, biological families simply are not the norm. Adoption is needed and heralded for very good reasons. Rainey still encourages adoption for benefits both to the adoptive parents and the adoptive child. A loving mother-father home is the next best situation for a child without his/her loving biological parents. Maintaining the structure that God created for families is important if it is possible. After all, it takes a man and woman to conceive a child. Is their role any less significant as the child grows? 

Divorce is needed in abusive situations. Adoption is needed if biological parents pass away or are unable to parent. These are special situations for which we must find a way to cope; they are not situations we should feel a need to create. Whenever possible, kids need their mom and dad. Just as mothers and fathers have dramatic impact in the lives of the children they bring forth, moms and dads also have dramatic impact in their absence. 

As Fagan noted, the existence of a loving mom and dad greatly benefits their children and, thereby, the rest of society. Conversely, our selfishness is not contained, but impacts our children, society and its future generations. When we think about family structure decisions, let's ask not what we want, but what's best for the children and the future of society.

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